I went to my last Youth Dance with Kurt and Carlos last night. It was a blast. Very hot. (The AC wasn't working) But fun.
I was sorta pessimistic though. I kept thinking about how much I was going to miss those silly boys. And the dances with their awful music and awkward people.And How I was going to miss my Young Women. I'm going to miss getting pushed into Sunday School by Brother Pratt and Brother Haley.
How I'm going to miss Adriana and I's adventures, getting Bubble Slushes in Davis, getting Fluried. How I'm going to miss my friends violent games of Rat Slap, and weird conversations and awkward moments. Playing Minecraft at Ian's. Movie Marathons and Phase 10.
I'm going to miss my Family and their crazyness. Marley Moo (this dog already is planning to take over my room once I leave, it's so evident). I'm going to miss my purple walls. My bed.
Don't get me wrong. I'm excited. This is all I've talked about since February.I got into my first choice school. I broken down in tears when I found out I got accepted. I was convinced I wasn't going to get in. I was going to have to go to BYU Idaho because there was no way I'd be able to afford UC Santa Cruz. This is a big deal for me.
But -"When are you leaving?!" "Are you ready?!" -s are getting to me.
My reply: August 20th. And I DON'T KNOW! (Of course, as unsure as I am...I'm still smiling through out the conversation so you don't believe me and think "She's full of it. She's just saying that to be nice because she's ready to get the heck out of here." But that's only partly true....I'm ready to get the heck out of Woodland.)
I thought I was ready but it's really hitting me that I'm leaving. I feel nervous now as the time till I leave keeps decreasing. And of course, being the worrisome person that I am...I've come up with a million and one scenarios about how things could go totally wrong...
I could actually hate it up there.
I could make like no friends.
I could be homesick.
I could be totally broke and hungry.
I could get extremely lost on campus and miss all my classes.
That's just a small portion of the list.... Why I do this to myself...I'm not sure...
You're probably thinking "Jensen, you're being silly." "You'll be fine!" "You worry too much." "You're going to have so much fun!"
Yes. Yes. I know. I truly am ready to go and have so many new and exciting adventures and make friends. But I'm going to miss everything that I'm leaving behind. I can't shake these negative thoughts out of my head.
I won't let this blog end on a negative note though...
I'm going to make the most of the next few days. I'm going to have a blast! I've got lots of stuff I want to do before I leave. So stay tuned in to read all about this week's adventures. I'm sure they'll be interesting, as always (:
