Sometimes you have to take a step back, to take a step forward. You have to be selfish, take your time out and when you're ready, get back out there from your spot on the bench and go play ball (: Okay, maybe life isn't like a baseball game really at all, but it sure feels like it sometimes and I desperately want to go to a game so it's all I can think about...OKAY?
Moving forward though, I can honestly say I'm feeling so happy. Finals sort of killed me, I wasn't stressed about them at all but I should have been. I was more stressed about moving, which was a good reason to be stressed. Though finals are over and moving has been figured out, I'm now in Midway with my family for some much needed R&R and time away from "the bubble" of what is the happiest city in the nation. I love it here.
I read an article of why you should travel after well...let's just put it out there, a break-up. It may have been a Buzzfeed article and sometimes those are just crap, but this one was right on point. I may only be up the Provo Canyon a few thirty minutes or so, but the change of scenery gave me a place to clear my mind of all that was going on in "that world" so I could focus on "my world."
I've distanced myself. I can focus on me. I'm able remind myself how much I really do love life. I'm able to gain new perspective after being away from all that is Provo. I've reminded myself what I deserve, and what I need to be successful. I'm definitely able to regain focus because I have nothing to worry about. I feel appreciated surrounded by those whom can't get rid of me because they're my family (Sorry guys, you're stuck with me). I'm making fun new memories. I've found inspiration (Blog alone should be proof). I'm appreciating home cooked meals, and meals that aren't made at The Wall. I've found myself, and what makes me happy, again. I've fallen in love with the beauty of the world all over again, and the feeling of my own happiness. Happiness, I created within myself. My only worry being how to turn the pages of my book with wet finger nail polish. #FirstWorldProblems
Of course I couldn't have done it alone, so many friends and family have been there for me, always. Also, Heavenly Father who just listened to me over and over again ask Him to help me get over those awful feelings, and I did. I'm honestly happy and content with my feelings. I'm so grateful for Him, and all my loving friends and family that have just been so supportive and caring. Especially, those whom brought me treats and let me impose on them many a time so I didn't have to be alone.
I've gotten to that point that they've all told me about, the point where it does get better. It took a long time, but I knew it would. I've gotten to the point where I can say I feel okay. I'm smiling. I'm playing tennis. I'm staying out too late. I'm going out with my friends. I'm writing my blog. I'm reading. Snapchatting way too much. I'm serving other people. Painting my nails. I'm doing things that make ME happy because it's what I want to do. I'm selfish and I don't care. I'm happy. I love it.
I've been faithful in reaching out to Heavenly Father for peace. I've gone through everyday no matter how good or bad I was feeling. I've done things that I enjoy, with people I love. I feel amazing for being me, focusing on me, enjoying being me. Staying True (:
Because, as my ringtone would say or Mr. Pharrell Williams will tell you, I'm happy.
It's my last night out here in Midway, and my friends (which I need to start calling them that instead of my "coworkers") are coming out here to hang out. What a great way to end a wonderful trip. All my family, and (some) of my friends in one place for a night. Just what I need (:
27 days til my next traveling adventure to LA and I couldn't be more stoked!
