It's hard to top the view count of the last blog that I wrote. However, I always have something to say. So blog I will.
It's been just about two months since I lost my dear Nana. Still seems strange, not having her comment on every Facebook status, like every picture I post, send funny text messages with attempts to use emojis. It's a happy space that I guess I didn't realize was existent til it was empty. With this revelation of sorts, I've tired to fill the space with a new recent activity.
No, not teaching. Practicum did take a large chunk of my Summer away from me as I taught the most adorable seven year olds ever, but that isn't the activity that I am referring to as that is, thankfully, over. (Longest 6 weeks of my undergraduate career.)
I'm talking about being observant. It's interesting how much you miss in a day when your mind is preoccupied with x, y and z all at the same time. I explain to my readers all the time that I thoroughly enjoy being busy from morning til bedtime but that's changed, slightly.
I've gotten comfortable with free time. I lay on the couch with my roommates to watch movies for hours on end. I will take a night off to snuggle up on my bed to finish a book in it's entirety (300 pages is nothing if I'm determined enough). I go out to get dinner by myself (stay tuned for a blog on this topic). I'm content coming home to clean the house, make dinner, go on a run to come home and sit my apartment alone peacefully. Though, I refuse to say in silence because it makes me extremely uncomfortable. (And if you know me you know, my music is always on when possible).
Rerouting to being observant... On those times when I'm alone, enjoying the Summer air on my bike rides or runs, or when I have more down time, I've come to notice things. The air on a cooler night, almost feels damp on my skin. The rain makes the apartment smell better than a candle could. The more I stare at the night sky, the more stars seem to appear. Just quality H20, water, actually tastes very good. Smiling at strangers just to be nice, isn't so scary. The air in the Mountains is 1. cleaner and 2. smells better.
Being with my friends, I've realized that laughing generally sounds ridiculous but it's contagious so it doesn't sound as bad when everyone is doing it. It's better to be bored together than bored alone, because you at least have someone that cares and will listen to your rambling. You don't have to be good friends to share amazing memories. Filling conversational silence isn't necessary as sometimes it builds a relationship more than words could. Friends don't care if you look like a mess, they genuinely care why and how the mess came about. (Then they will tease you about how you look if appropriate.)
I've come to appreciate the little things, like finding a penny on the ground, or a small gesture from a stranger. It's a pity that the smaller things that are actually pretty grand, go unnoticed because we are so preoccupied worrying about the larger, more consuming life activities such as how are we going to pay for school? Or why didn't that person we like text us back? What in the world are we going to do after college?
Important questions, but sitting on the grass to watch the clouds pass can make those larger items of business seem less consuming when we choose to observe the little, beautiful and less stressful aspects of life.
Well at least, that's what I've observed or choose to believe. Life has been a much easier and enjoyable when I make time to stop my stressing to enjoy the day, people, events, etc. for all that it has to offer.
