Note to self: If you're going to eat something messy, put a napkin in your lap. You're generally a clean eater; however, the one day that you are wearing light colored clothing, and you choose to eat something moderately messy you will spill all over yourself and have to walk around all day with a massive stain on your shirt and shorts.
Rule #9495: If you're going to walk close to door openings, make sure you don't get your belt loop caught in the door jam. Your pants may just rip, all the way down the side.
Warning: Hiking the Y will just about kill you. You may think you're in better shape than usual but you and Utah elevation don't get along. You still are used to the below sea levelness of California. You will be out of breath after 4 switchbacks. Pro-tip: YOU HATE THAT HIKE SO DON'T DO IT AGAIN.
Note to Self: Walking is not your expertise. Don't forget that if you stop focusing on your feet, the only place you'll be going is flat on your face, in front of a huge crowd of people most likely.
Rule #1299: Don't say you'll go on dates with complete strangers. Blind dates are fine, but complete strangers? You may have a cute, pink bottle of pepper spray but that does not make going on dates with strangers acceptable or safe. Just say no. Or else they will continue to text and call you until you pick up your phone.
Note to Self: If you decide to not wash your hair in the morning, make sure that you don't have any feathers in your hair when you come up to campus for the day. No one will tell you that you have some extra decorations hiding in your pony tail.
BEWARE: The custard machine has a vendetta against you. Clean up yourself after it explodes on you, or else you'll look stupid with spots of custard freckling your face. Pro-Tip: Don't bother wearing make up on custard night. It's that bad.
Note to Self: When you put ID cards or even your ROC pass in your back pocket, it will fall out because your skinny jeans hate you. This will cause you to have a minor panic attack as you scramble around trying to find missing card. Pro-tip: Put the card back in your handy dandy wallet to keep from losing it.
Rule #3488: STAY AWAY FROM FLOOR AIR VENTS. THEY ARE NOT YOUR FRIEND. Unless you want everyone to see your underwear on Sundays, just steer clear of them.
Note to Self: If a cute boy is flirting with you through the drive thru. Don't egg him on. Seriously, he doesn't need a confidence booster. He probably flirts with any food service cutie. Shut him down. It'll be more entertaining, for you and the others that are on the headsets.
Note to Self: Your lisp is going to get a little worse when you're nervous, that'll make it difficult for you to flirt, be charming, or better yet be normal. You're more likely to be just more awkward.
Rule #1904: If you're going to have a crush on someone, don't tell people that have a tendency to tell everyone everything. Pro-Tip: Tell no one.
FYI: Your phone enjoys sending SnapChats you don't want sent, so just face the facts that your ugly faces are going to be everywhere.
The universe enjoys making me look like a fool. Whatever. Makes life a little bit more interesting when I have a story to tell. I loving being able to laugh at myself. Hope you find my ridiculousness as entertaining as I do.
62 days til CA (:
P.S. If there are tons of errors, blame Blogspot not me. Sometimes it doesn't publish my most recent, proofread draft. I mean, I'm terrible at English but I'm not a complete idiot.