Wednesday, December 31, 2014

Dear Me From Me

Dear Jensen,

2014 has definitely been interesting. Let's just be honest, generally speaking the first half of this year was pretty sucky. You spent it crying and miserable. Thankfully though, you spent the other half making some wonderfully, crazy memories because you were ridiculously busy all the dang time! (What else is new though?) It was a learning experience to say the least. It wasn't the year you intended to have; however, I think you've come to terms with it because I don't know about you, but I wouldn't have traded it for anything.

Well I would have traded a few of the broken-hearted nights, panic attacks and anxiety filled days for a few better moments, for your sake. Those were definitely not a highlight of your year. You were a mess, not even a hot mess. Just a mess.

Unfortunately though, that's when you learned the most about yourself. You wouldn't have decided to go get help unless you had all those breakdowns. You wouldn't have found your new anxiety outlet, running. You wouldn't have learned to rely on your friends. You wouldn't have encouraged yourself to make new friends. You wouldn't have become stronger and independent if you didn't force yourself to pick up the pieces and move on.

Enough about the "Great Depression" of this year though, you've bored your readers enough with those entries. How about those extraordinary days with your Wallies? The days spent in Los Angeles with your best friend? The days spent by the pool with your new friends? The days spent late underneath the stars with your Adventure Squad bros? (Yes it's a link, click on it) What an amazing Summer and Fall semester you've had. You have over 500 pictures only portraying a small portion of a collection of fantastic memories from the last half of this year.

You rocked those days you spent out and about, living the new chapter of your life. You jumped off rope swings. You climbed canyon walls. You shot guns. You stood in front of crowds and performed. You learned how to slack line. You dyed your hair! Who is this girl and what did she do with the quiet, worrisome Jensen that didn't do much of anything past sit at home and play ukulele behind closed doors?

You're a new person. A new person who's a whole lot happier, and more fun. As mentioned before, you're strong and independent. You are bold. You're not afraid to speak your mind. You're fit and healthy. You've got the depression and anxiety in check. You've got your grades up to As. You have a solid group of friends. You have an amazing Church calling. Though, that's just a short list. You've always had a lot going for you, but now you can positively, and gratefully acknowledge it all.

You're killing it, babe. Sure, life was kind of kicking you while you were down for a bit but look where you are now! You took the hand dealt to you, sobbed about it for a while, then ended up winning the round. (I would say the jack pot, but I feel like you have a few more life goals that need to be fulfilled before I can say you've won it all.)

You're starting your last semester of your Junior year, and going to be taking a heaping 19 credits (don't worry, 4 of them are internship credits), and working two jobs still. You're applying for a chance at an amazing opportunity (I refuse to jinx it, so not telling!). And you have less than a year left til you're done with your undergrad, which will put you at graduating in 3 1/2 years.

Your family is proud of you. Your friends are proud of you. I am proud of you. Yes, YOU ARE PROUD OF YOURSELF BECAUSE YOU'RE AMAZING. And you don't lie, so you know I'm being honest.

For 2015, keep up the good work. Keep looking for opportunities that will make YOU happy. Keep hanging out with your crazy friends and making memories. Keep trying your best. Keep smiling. Keep loving life like you are because happy looks good on you, and so does that red hair. (Who knew!?) NO resolutions needed, you're great already. But no matter what, Stay True.

Love always,